Failing the Laugh Test
With Democrats fumbling all over each other and punch themselves in the face trying to pass a government funding bill and debt limit increase, there’s not a ton of actual news today. But a couple of things came up yesterday that made me almost wistful for the political culture of yore.
The first was this:
If you don’t think that makes sense, don’t worry — it doesn’t. That is an incredibly tortured definition of “zero dollars.” The reasoning is that the 3.5 trillion dollars is paid for by increased taxes, and therefore doesn’t add to the national debt, and bibbity bobbity boo, zero dollars.
It’s just so clearly nonsense that it’s almost not worth pointing out. But since many people seem to be nodding along, it should be noted: this is basically like telling your wife you bought a beach house, but don’t worry, you’re gonna drive Uber to pay for it so it doesn’t count.
Even if you take Biden’s word that this doesn’t add to the national debt — and you shouldn’t, because it will — it ignores the fact that our current national debt is just a shade under 29 trillion dollars, with an annual deficit of three trillion dollars this year alone, with at least trillion-dollar annual deficits every year for the foreseeable future. So again, even if it were true that Biden’s plan won’t add to the national debt — and it almost certainly isn’t — the national debt at the end of his term will nevertheless be at least five trillion dollars higher than when he took office. That’s not what “zero dollars” looks like.
And then there was this:
The “comments in August” at issue here are from an interview Biden gave in which he had the following exchange with George Stephanopoulos:
STEPHANOPOULOS: So no one told — your military advisors did not tell you, “No, we should just keep 2,500 troops. It's been a stable situation for the last several years. We can do that. We can continue to do that”?
BIDEN: No. No one said that to me that I can recall.
“Not that I can recall” is classic Washington speak for “What I’m saying is untrue, but you can’t call it a lie if I say I don’t remember.” The idea that none of Biden’s military advisors recommended keeping some 2,500 troops in Afghanistan is absurd on its face; because as anyone who’s even vaguely familiar with the situation knows, that has been the advice to the last three presidents.
Biden did not heed that advice, which is his prerogative. But for him to say that he “doesn’t recall” being given that advice is simply dishonest.
And I know people get squeamish about criticizing Biden because they’re worried it’ll give Republicans fodder that could possibly usher in a second Trump term; but if that’s actually the concern, then the emphasis should be on Biden being a better president. Not covering for his mistakes.
He’s cleared the lowest of bars in being an improvement over Donald Trump, but we nevertheless have to grapple with the fact that he’s, well, still Joe Biden.
An Insolent Toddler with the Nuclear Codes
Yet another tell-all book is set to be released from a former Trump aide, this time from former White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham; who holds the dubious distinction of never holding a televised press briefing during her tenure. Reports are that her book is pretty standard Trump administration fare: Trump had a remarkable temper, he berated her multiple times, he asked her to do absurd things, she regrets working there, wishing she had spoken up more at the time, blah blah blah.
I don’t have much patience for people who claim to witness terrible behavior by a president and yet only find the courage to tell the public more than a year after the fact and in the form of a gossipy book.
But one new piece of information stood out: “Mr. Trump’s handlers designated an unnamed White House official known as the “Music Man” to play him his favorite show tunes, including “Memory” from “Cats,” to pull him from the brink of rage. (The aide, it is revealed later, is Ms. Grisham’s ex-boyfriend. She does not identify him, but it is Max Miller, a former White House official now running for Congress with Mr. Trump’s support.)”
Show tunes! Memory, from Cats!
Now, we can just accept the terrifying insanity of the fact that the former president of the United States had a designated staff member to calm him down when he was enraged. That such an aide was necessary is bananas enough. But it’s just yet more evidence that Trump’s entire persona is invented. He’s doing schtick. It’s a bit.
Trump puts a lot of effort into the persona that he’s this alpha male, ultra macho, incredibly successful businessman. The “successful businessman” thing has never been true. It’s a nonsense fantasy sold to gullible voters. He inherited a New York City real estate empire — a very valuable thing — and then he pissed it away. He was reduced to hawking mattresses and mail-order steaks with his name on them, which is not something actual rich people do. He’s not rich, he’s merely leveraged six ways to Sunday. He’s essentially living off of maxed out credit cards that he can't pay off. He’s not a good businessman — every company in which he is personally involved is a firehose of negative cashflow.
And now we learn that he’s not even macho; because when he gets really upset he listens to the most effeminate song from the schlockiest Broadway musical in history.
Granted, Trump’s lack of masculinity isn’t a surprise to anyone familiar with his home décor preferences; which is so gaudy that Liberace would find it a bit much.
It helps explain what has always bothered me about Donald Trump. His persona is a sham. He’s playing a professional wrestling character. And there are millions of people who believe it’s real.
But when the supposedly ultra-successful, ultra-macho businessman obsessed with strength and sexual conquest is actually flat broke, can’t do a push up, and listens to show tunes to calm down — maybe he’s overcompensating for something.
I’m not sayin’…I’m just sayin’.
Trient-Weekly Trivia
Monday’s answer:
Category: Musical Performance
Clue: A male alto voice is also known as this 12-letter word.
Countertenor
Today’s clue:
Category: Jewish History
Clue: The National Library of Israel has an archive on this unjustly accused French officer; including his marriage contract.
Dispatches from the Homefront
In preparation for the new baby, we’re doing some rearranging of furniture in our house. I wanted to measure a space to make sure our couch would fit in it, but I couldn’t find the tape measure. I jokingly asked my daughter if she’d seen it, and she said “in my room.” She seemed oddly confident, so we went up to her room, and she said “up there!” and pointed to her dresser. And damned if the tape measure wasn’t there.
It’s a weird transition to see your kid going from a completely oblivious, utterly dependent entity to being a little person that actually knows things I don’t.